No Means No, Right?

If it's not a choice, don't give a choice. Consent is undeniably important. But when it comes to medical exams or procedures that are non-negotiable, presenting them as a choice can be confusing for kids. 

Evan doesn't love doctor visits – the poking, the prodding, the talking, you name it. And more often than not, when asked for his permission to proceed with something he's not keen on, his answer is a firm "no!" This puts everyone in a tricky spot. The doctors look at me, expecting me to step in, and I'm stuck. They offered him a choice, he made it, and now I'm supposed to override his choice and make him allow them to touch his body? It feels wrong to undermine the very concept of consent. 

So, I've learned to be upfront with medical professionals at the beginning of each appointment: "If it's essential and not actually optional, please don't frame it as a choice to him. If he says no, we respect that." It's about finding a balance between teaching him autonomy over his body and ensuring he gets the care he needs.